I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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