have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
