So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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