is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
