tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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