i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
