is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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