I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
