my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize