Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
