last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
