I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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