You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
