do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
only you would photoshop your dick
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
