There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
