Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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