We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
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I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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