Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
