idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
