I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize