i think my mom watched the whole time
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
