I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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