alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize