Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize