your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
