I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
