"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
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oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
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I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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