Whod you bang
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Randomize
