it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
