He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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