obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just forgot I was standing up.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
