Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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