it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
