We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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