i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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