Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just pee around me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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