ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
