Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
a search helicopter?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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