fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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