Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
