you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
