i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize