you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
