She's JV to your varsity
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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