Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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