LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
