I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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