worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
