He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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