you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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