The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize