I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
