i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.