I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from