Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
