im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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