So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
