Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
