pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
