so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
