I'm going to rape someone's good day.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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