Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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