..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
