I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
