Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
