I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
