Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
